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the future is made of stones
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15th-Mar-2020 04:02 pm(no subject)

friends only.

comment to be added.
10th-Mar-2015 01:27 pm - march 10, 2015.
all i do is take selfies now. and babysit children. pretty much!

9th-Feb-2015 05:07 pm(no subject)
last night i tried to tell alex that i love him.

his response was that falling in love is scary and he thinks it makes people stupid, but he's had to stop himself from saying that he loves me so many times. i apparently also said that i think love is lame? or at least, he thinks i said

so yeah. last night we went to sleep on opposite sides of the bed. 
18th-Dec-2014 11:27 pm - december 18, 2014
i had my cardiology appointment last friday and it was awful. he didn't do an EKG (uhhh what) when i got there and all he had were the results of my holter monitor. he talked to me for a few minutes and dismissed what my regular MD had told me, essentially telling me that she was totally wrong. he said my heart can sustain itself at 120-150bpm for forever and that it's not a problem that my heart stops at night. oh, and when he listened to my heart he unbuttoned my shirt without asking. rude. he scheduled me for an echocardiogram and then a follow up a month later. he told me that the ARVC gene mutation won't affect me because what i have is POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia) wroooong. ALSO: he was not the doctor i was referred to, it turns out. they just didn't listen to my MD and put me with him.

on tuesday i got my appointment with the right doctor i was referred to (who is actually my mom's doctor who put her pacemaker in) and it was so much better. mom came with me, too. as soon as i got there he did an EKG. then he talked to me for a good 30 minutes about how i feel during the day and if i feel my heart beating, do i feel chest pain, shortness of breath, etc...He listened and essentially told me that my high heart rate can cause me to feel dizzy/nauseous/like i'm going to pass out. my heart rate will jump up up up and then it'll fall really quickly (especially in high stress situations) and that messes up my autonomic? functions. if it goes up too high i will pass out he said, but it's never happened yet. he was also able to immedietly dismiss the POTS diagnosis, because my heart rate does not change significantly with posture. he told me to stay hydrated and eat lots of salt. fun stuff. then we talked about my EKGs. I have something called an "incomplete right branch bundle block" which can be a sign of a bunch of things relating to my right ventricle -- one of those things being ARVC. so, because of this he does recommend that i get genetic testing to see if i have the gene. if i have it, right now it's not an issue b/c my tachycardia is what they call "sinus tachycardia" aka there's no abnormal arrhythmia, but it could be an issue later for me/if i have kids.

feeling much better overall. still scheduling the echocardiogram, especially to check out the right ventricle. it could be anything, so i'm not panicking. i'll see him again in a month.

FUN STUFF NOW. I'm in NY with my adorable nephew. i swear to god he is the cutest little baby ever. have some photos!

baby!Collapse )
10th-Dec-2014 10:30 pm - december 10th, 2014.
i'm going to a cardiologist on friday who specializes in pacemakers and defibrillators. scary scary scary.
7th-Dec-2014 12:37 am - december 7, 2014.
3 weeks ago i wore a holter monitor for 24 hours. a holter monitor is essentially a 24 hour portable EKG. it measured my heart rate over the course of a day. my doctor ordered it because of my fast heartbeat, trying to see if it is always that high or just in her office.

i got the results yesterday. not good.

over the course of the day my lowest heartrate was 58, and the highest was 155. overall, the average for my day was 108, which is way too high. the 155 isn't the worst part, though. at night while i sleep my heart pauses for anywhere between 1 and 2 seconds. my mom's heart does this too, and they literally just put a pacemaker in her YESTERDAY.

so i am terrified.

they're referring me to a specialist. 
16th-Jul-2014 11:09 am - the pattern is a system or a maze.
of course it's complicated, if it wasn't i probably wouldn't be interested in you.
25th-May-2014 02:26 pm(no subject)
"There are moments, when you’re getting to know someone, when you realize something deep and buried in you is deep and buried in them, too. It feels like meeting a stranger you’ve known your whole life."
23rd-May-2014 12:58 am(no subject)
It's hard to tell here, but I got really sunburnt today.
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